Sooooo this weekend I did something a little out of my comfort zone. I was asked to be a page turner for my bosse's concert. It was very last minute for me, but I just wanted to be of help to somebody and this was the perfect opportunity to do it! So YAY to that!
Right now I should be getting ready for rehearsal/getting ready for school tomorrow/finishing up some work, and I totally will later, but I wanted to write about some positive stuff real quick. So I'm gonna get it all down now. I'm at the end of my Spring Break, and I can honestly say this break has given me so much perspective on my life and the person I want to be. I know for most people, Spring Break is just partying, or going on vacation, or being home in general. For me, I just stayed here on campus and tried to make the most of it. After quite a horrible experience the Friday before break, and a weekend of making sure I was okay, I took the rest of the week to really think about why I made that choice, or better yet, why I've made choices that were not considered the best for so long. And I kinda came to a conclusion. I've been looking for fulfillment and satisfaction in other things that could never give me that feeling. Let's see the list: fair-weathered friends, excessive shopping, experimenting with drugs and alcohol, and other things I honestly could not write on here because I'm that ashamed of them. All my time at college was spent trying to find fulfillment and love from ALL the wrong places. When I finally stopped and thought about it, I realized that I needed to look for that feeling in myself. I need to give myself the best life I can give me, because right now, I need to work on me.
The last two years were incredibly rough, chaotic and downright confusing. I was changing completely from a kid who had the whole world ahead of him to some self-absorbed, damaged and moody jerk who felt the need to make one bad turn after another. Literally...it was BAD. This year though (and I mean 2014) has been different. You know, I heard someone say one time that insanity was doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Sooo, you could basically say I was going insane.
ANYWAY, BACK TO THE POINT!
I have a habit of going off topic sometimes. So, what I learned over the break was to stay with the momentum of going uphill and not downhill. I also learned that I want to DO something with this life I have. I want to give something to people, and help others. I don't want to be the kind of person who only thinks about himself all the time, even though sometimes it's an appropriate thing to do. Whether it be becoming an opera singer or a psychologist, I want to help people. And I know why I'm in school now: to focus on that long-term goal and succeed. But I have short term goals right now: eat healthier, go work out, finish this school year off right, and get a summer job (even though I have one in DC, but my mom reeeeally wants me to live in Virginia this summer, and I like change.) If I can accomplish those, I think my summer will go pretty smoothly. Anyway, that was just some stuff I wanted to talk about. Bye til next time!
XOXO, Evan
XOXO, Evan
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